#TrueBeing ,
By Sagar Datta, Publisher: Notion Press, Chennai,
Pp 368, Price: Rs. 399, Year of publication: 2019, ISBN 978-1-68466-565-5.
In a way, the cover of this book briefly uncovers its
contents viz. one book, three themes, many musings. We all human beings have
thoughts about various issues, some of which we do express, but mostly we may
not express openly. But there are individuals who feel strongly about certain
points. These feelings may be based upon their own experience or of others or
may even be their own abstract thinking. But this varies from person to person.
This book has been written by Shri Sagar Datta. It appears that lot of thinking
has been done by him, before carefully penning down the script, before or after
deciding the titles of the Chapters. It does have personal touch from beginning
to the end. The very important human topics viz. Love (33 Chapters), Life (57
Chapters) and Relationships (52 Chapters) have been discussed in three parts of
the book. Each Chapter consists of poetic verses, musings, illustrations,
four-liners etc. The book starts with Introduction, which states that poetry
and prose have come from the soul.
First theme is Love. This most important emotion
is very complex and can take extreme positions. Relationships of love also
change with time and may even become unfavourable and in case of sufferings we
may be forced to apply closure with hopes for a better future for both. An
extract from the poem "Make me grow" is noteworthy (Quote) For I was
just A diamond, Fresh uncut and unfinished, And you Made the world see my
illumination"(Unquote) Relationships should be simple and clear about
expectations, wants and sense of belonging to each other. Marriage is not of two
persons but of two families, requiring understanding, balancing and adjustment.
We cannot force someone to love us. Love should not just be physical but beyond,
for the soul. There should be selfless concern. Detachment may be required at appropriate
times. One odd mistake should not become centre-point of break-up. Healing also
requires time and patience. Ending of relationship should be the last resort,
since there is pain and poison in life when the partner leaves. It is difficult
to forget her in case of break-up. When relationship ends, only good points
should be remembered. The author goes deep into the aspects of love where we
live for the other person, with commitment and we surrender to each other. Love
is a meaningful journey and not a destination. Bonding between two persons is
with some rules. Infidelity is an insult.
An extract from "Love needs effort" in the Chapter Difficult
Love is relevant: (Quote) Obsession with someone should be without pain but one
of pleasure"(Unquote). Love changes people, makes us grow and improve and
should make us selfless.
The second theme is Life. The musings are based on
author's observations of various kinds of people. Our beliefs are outcomes of
agreement between our heart, mind and soul. We should think, dream and have
vision differently in life and cut through the limitations. We realize the
troubles and struggles of our parents, only when we become parents. We must
know that life has a purpose and we have to make it beautiful. Problems in our
life exhaust us and therefore we must also relax, and progress after pauses.
For some time in life, we are single. It has its own good and bad perspectives.
It is OK to be single till we find someone with whom we can share and spend
life. We should improve continuously, assess our strengths and progress and
excel in them. We should be close to the people who make us pleasant and
energize us and avoid people who see only our shortcomings, without any
solutions for them. Each one of us is a different, unique, imperfect &
special person and we should take pride in being that special person. Though it is very difficult to forget the past
but still we have to try to avoid old toxic incidents and memories. We must
know that nothing in this world is permanent. We need detachment but it does
not mean that we should not care. Failure is not the end of the world. It gives
lessons for future. We all have adequate strength to survive and progress.
In many cases, friendship lasts till purpose and
benefits are taken. The love, connection and care remain for the time being. We
should take it that we are being tested by God. We should not lose hope. We
should know ourselves first, feel confident and not be afraid. We cannot always
have true companions. We must forget and forgive and not think about revenge. We
should see our own life and in no case we should hurt ourselves. We should get
inspiration from successful persons. We should not take many responsibilities.
The reality is that the world goes on with or without us. We should learn from failures and losses. We
may help others but not interfere in their affairs. We should be clear about
our intentions and not worry much about opinion of others. We should not allow
others to control our thoughts. Life is beautiful and creative. We must not
fall prey to depression. We must thank God for what all he has given to us. God
is doing what is due for us.
The third part is Relationships: Relationships with
our partners and all others like friends, family, colleagues etc. involved in
our life are important. Relationships should be created and allowed to grow. We
should give credit to our parents for our present status in birth, nature,
personality, growth and progress etc. In case of true love, distance is of no
consequence but lack of communication or silence does matter. In a
relationship, communication is very important. But our thoughtless actions may
sometimes cause permanent loss of relationships. Generally others want only
small things like partner wants love, parents want respect etc. It is said that
our partners have been already matched and decided by God. It is very difficult
to change a person. We have to accept her as she is. A bad relationship may
also give positive results. In case of anger we should take it up with the
person who caused it, otherwise just swallow it. Sometimes when one person
apologizes for his past mistakes, then we should forgive him and move on. We
should be away from persons who hate and harm us or make us feel small. We
should not break somebody's heart and expect her to love us. It is better to
let her do reasonable things which she wants to do. Everything has two sides,
bright side and dark side. We should evaluate, realize and develop empathy.
Before blaming others, we should look within ourselves first. We need not be
dependent on anyone but this point does not arise in love. Here an extract is relevant: (Quote) A real
man is someone who can make a woman smile and be happy when she is with him
(Unquote). It is a matter of loyalty, commitment, honesty, listening and
understanding etc. Trusting and investing are very important. Our view must be
straightforward and not one of pretending. When a person who belonged to us, is
seen with someone else, it is time to move on. Cheating and lying are extremely
harmful. Any relationship on the foundation of untruth
cannot last.
We must have positive attitude for future but with
caution, even with past bad relationships, since these also change with time
and have ups and downs. Our partner also has some limitations. If one has
problem with someone, we should resolve it by discussing it with him rather
than broadcasting and involving others. We should not take anyone for granted
since we may lose the person whom we love the most, in spite of good
intentions. Perceptions vary from time to time and from person to person. Maintaining bond is responsibility of both
sides. People do not always present things correctly. We should try to keep
relationships going even though these may be in troubled waters. There is no
single theory for a successful relationship. People tend to remind our past to
open old wounds. We may make mistakes but we should learn from them. People
come back in cases of true love.
Conclusion: In the beginning of the book, the
author provides dedication to all hearts and souls equally, a small tip from
the author to read the book slowly in parts and not read it in one go and gives
blessings, my dear reader as a poem and
then Introduction. ECover design is colourful
and appealing. Towards the end of the book is The Last Chapter, which tells us
to rethink about our lives for love, relations and regrets. Author expresses
his gratefulness for our reading the book till end, as it will help in
forgiving and forgetting things. About the author has been provided at the end
of the book.
Summarizing it can be said that it is an emotional
work and the author has poured his heart into the contents of this book and
gives a real self-reflection of his own personal experiences of his life or of
somebody too close to him or may be his own imagination, which has found
expression in poems, illustrations and musings etc. The reader gets benefited and
becomes a lot wiser by learning the intricacies of these three themes. It is said
that an intelligent person learns from the experience of others. The most
important learning in love and relationships is to forget and forgive. Of
course, the reviewer agrees with the author that this book should be read
slowly and in parts. The author expects feedback from the readers. Since this
book provides some points for avoiding and resolving troubled relationships and
finding peace in life it is considered satisfying, worth reading and very useful for every one of us to make
our love life, overall life and relationships best possible to lead to overall
happiness in life.
------------Reviewer: vijaiksharma
